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The CRE Humor Jokes

6 Cap Dreams vs DSCR Screams

6 days ago
1 min read

Client: Need a 6 cap, Amazon-credit, walk to Trader Joe’s, under $2M—easy, right? My T-12 vs rent roll: DSCR 1.01 on a good hair day; CAMs feral; Excel started vaping 📉 Lender: Send estoppels, SNDA from the vape shop, ALTA, and prove the roof isn’t Clinton-era Appraisal “subject to Phase II”—deal died so fast CoStar flagged it off-market 😵‍💫

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