Expectation: 30-day close, smooth estoppels, pristine Phase I Reality: Tenant #7 is a vape goat yoga studio with cash sales only Lender: Need updated rent roll, environmental reliance letter, and your firstborn Me, re-underwriting at 2 a.m.: DSCR 1.26 → 1.19 after 'minor' TI/LC bomb 💣 Client: So we still at 5 cap? Me: If you mean 5 hours of sleep, yes. 😵‍💫