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LOI Signed, Sanity Declined: The DSCR Hunger Games

Expectation: 30-day close, smooth estoppels, pristine Phase I Reality: Tenant #7 is a vape goat yoga studio with cash sales only Lender: Need updated rent roll, environmental reliance letter, and your firstborn Me, re-underwriting at 2 a.m.: DSCR 1.26 → 1.19 after 'minor' TI/LC bomb 💣 Client: So we still at 5 cap? Me: If you mean 5 hours of sleep, yes. 😵‍💫

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DSCR Says 1.25x, My Soul Says Extension Please

Broker: It pencils at a 6 cap Lender: After our stress test it pencils at a crayon Me: Rebuilding the model because T12 ≠ rent roll and DSCR is allergic to reality 🧮 Seller: No price cut. Also CAMs w

 
 
 
The LOI Said 'Non-Binding' But My Anxiety Isn't

Expectation: 6% cap, clean Phase I, lender jazz hands Reality: 4.3% cap, HVAC is vapor, Phase I finds a vintage fuel tank Broker: we're at the one-yard line; Lender: need estoppels & SNDAs from every

 
 
 

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