top of page
ChatGPT Image Mar 21, 2026, 05_41_11 PM.png

The CRE Humor Jokes

When Your Model Says 1.25x DSCR And Reality Says LOL No

Aug 27
1 min read

Broker: It’s a clean 6-cap, light value-add Lender: Cool, send T-12, rent roll, CAM recs, and your kindergarten report card Excel: Circular reference—also you hardcoded 9% growth, champ Me at “closing”: DSCR 1.25x… until taxes reset and it’s 0.98x 📉🤡

Recent Posts

See All
Broker: 95% Leased. Excel: Lawyer Up.

Broker: 95% leased, DSCR 1.45, easy close Lender: cool—send T12, T3, rent roll, estoppels, Phase I, and your 3rd grade report card Me in Excel: unhide rows, circulars explode, IRR from 18% to SEE CELL

 
 
 
The Pro Forma Said Legend, The T-12 Said Therapist

Broker: Pro forma says 92% occ by Q2 Lender: Great—email the T-12 proving 120% of that and a DSCR that lifts weights Client: Can we close Friday if we start term sheet today? Me, in Excel v27_FINAL_RE

 
 
 

Comments

Rated 0 out of 5 stars.
No ratings yet

Add a rating
bottom of page