top of page
ChatGPT Image Mar 21, 2026, 05_41_11 PM.png

The CRE Humor Jokes

When the T-12 Says 'Trust Me Bro'

Sep 4
1 min read

Broker: 'Stabilized day one.' Lender: Send T-12, rent roll, and a DSCR that isn’t vibes-based. Me opening Excel: 31 tabs, 9 circular refs, DSCR 1.25 only if TI/LC is a rumor 🧮 Client: Can we shave 75 bps off cap rate and close Friday? Perfect, I'll cure Phase I with a 'trust me bro' affidavit 😂

Recent Posts

See All
Broker: 95% Leased. Excel: Lawyer Up.

Broker: 95% leased, DSCR 1.45, easy close Lender: cool—send T12, T3, rent roll, estoppels, Phase I, and your 3rd grade report card Me in Excel: unhide rows, circulars explode, IRR from 18% to SEE CELL

 
 
 
The Pro Forma Said Legend, The T-12 Said Therapist

Broker: Pro forma says 92% occ by Q2 Lender: Great—email the T-12 proving 120% of that and a DSCR that lifts weights Client: Can we close Friday if we start term sheet today? Me, in Excel v27_FINAL_RE

 
 
 

Comments

Rated 0 out of 5 stars.
No ratings yet

Add a rating
bottom of page