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The CRE Humor Jokes

When the Pro Forma Says 8-Cap But the Lender Reads It Like Fan Fiction

1 day ago
1 min read

Client: Need a 7-cap STNL, walkable to Whole Foods, under $3M Me opening Excel: 64 tabs, 3 circular refs, 1 VLOOKUP from 2016 🧮 Lender: Actually it's 1.35x at 55% LTV and the rate lock ghosted Seller: Minor issue—roof is 'historic' and Phase I found surprise barrels Me: Posting 'Deal under control' while googling 'rain delay clause' šŸ˜…

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