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The CRE Humor Jokes

When the DSCR Ate My Cap Rate (and My Weekend)

Oct 13
1 min read

Broker: It’s a clean 6-cap, day-one cash cow Lender: Stress test 8.75%; DSCR 1.19—IC says “pass” Client: Just bump rents 25% by Friday and call it stabilized? 🙂 Me: FINAL_FINAL_v63.xlsx just circular-referenced my soul 😵 Seller: Roof is “new”—in 2003—and HVACs are “vintage”

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