Expectation: 30-Day Close. Reality: 30 Docs A Day.

Broker: 30-day close, seller super chill, 5.5% cap—easy. Lender: Need T-12, T-3, rent roll v12, estoppels, SNDAs, Phase I on the Phase I, and your sponsor’s blood type. Client: Cool, make it 80% LTV, 10-yr IO, non-recourse, and a discount because "vacancy is a vibe". Me: Absolutely—right after Excel stops #REF!-ing and the roof quits "budgeting" its leaks. ☠️