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The CRE Humor Jokes

When the Appraisal Sneezes, Your DSCR Catches a Cold

Broker: Underwrote 6.5% cap, 75% LTV, DSCR 1.30 — smooth close Lender: After stress test + $450k CapEx reserve + IO cut, DSCR now 1.09 🙃 Appraiser: Best comp is a vacant mill 47 miles away; value adjusted for vibes Client: So my LOI was fiction? Me: Welcome to the CRE Cinematic Universe 😂

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Term Sheet Says Yes, Appraisal Says LOL

Broker: LOI signed, lender nodding, I preorder the 'Closed' banner Lender: send updated T-12, live rent roll, and proof the roof isn’t a rumor Appraiser: found comps from a C-minus two zip codes away—

 
 
 

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