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The CRE Humor Jokes

When the Appraisal Sneezes, Your DSCR Catches a Cold

Broker: Underwrote 6.5% cap, 75% LTV, DSCR 1.30 — smooth close Lender: After stress test + $450k CapEx reserve + IO cut, DSCR now 1.09 🙃 Appraiser: Best comp is a vacant mill 47 miles away; value adjusted for vibes Client: So my LOI was fiction? Me: Welcome to the CRE Cinematic Universe 😂

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Appraiser Brought a 2021 Comp to a 2026 Knife Fight

Broker: T12 scrubbed, 6-cap, Phase I squeaky. Let’s close. Lender: DSCR 1.249 so… escrows, rate cap, and a blood sample. Appraiser: Used a 'nearby' comp 19 miles away behind a cornfield—value: vibes.

 
 
 

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