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The CRE Humor Jokes

Pro Forma: 12M. Appraisal: 8.4M. My Soul: Negative Carry.

Broker: Pro forma value 12M, comps are chef's kiss Appraiser: Found a 2011 comp next to a RadioShack, calling it 8.4M Lender: DSCR 1.25 at SOFR+ mystery points; also escrow Jupiter and buy a rate cap Me at 2:17am in Excel: if I rename Other Income to Manifested NOI will it underwrite? šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ“‰

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Term Sheet Says Yes, Appraisal Says LOL

Broker: LOI signed, lender nodding, I preorder the 'Closed' banner Lender: send updated T-12, live rent roll, and proof the roof isn’t a rumor Appraiser: found comps from a C-minus two zip codes away—

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When the Appraiser Nukes Your Cap Rate at 4:59 PM

Broker: It pencils at 6.25% cap, T-12 trending up, pro forma tight Lender: Committee wants actuals, SNDAs, and my weekend Appraiser: Calls it 'stabilized' then shaves 12% because a 2009 comp sneezed M

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