top of page
ChatGPT Image Mar 21, 2026, 05_41_11 PM.png

The CRE Humor Jokes

When the Appraisal Says LOL and the Lender Wants 12 More Docs

Broker: Priced to trade at 6.25 cap Appraiser: After “stabilization adjustments” — make it 8 cap and a coupon Lender: DSCR 1.25? On proforma? Adorable. Send T-12 utilities, estoppels, and pet-rent receipts Me in Excel: If I merge one more cell, Argus files a restraining order 🧮 Client: Close Friday? Me: After the re-trade, re-appraisal, and a Phase I on the 1978 gas station next door 😂

Recent Posts

See All
Appraiser Brought a 2021 Comp to a 2026 Knife Fight

Broker: T12 scrubbed, 6-cap, Phase I squeaky. Let’s close. Lender: DSCR 1.249 so… escrows, rate cap, and a blood sample. Appraiser: Used a 'nearby' comp 19 miles away behind a cornfield—value: vibes.

 
 
 

Comments

Rated 0 out of 5 stars.
No ratings yet

Add a rating
bottom of page