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The CRE Humor Jokes

Broker Brain vs Lender Brain vs Appraiser Brain - Cap Rate Cage Match

Broker: It’s a pristine 6-cap, NNN, pre-leased - slam dunk Lender: Need T-12, T-3, T-now, estoppels, SNDA, roof report, and your 3rd grade attendance 📑 Appraiser: After market-supported adjustments, value = vibes and a 7.94% cap My Excel: 31 tabs, 6 #REF!, DSCR whispers 1.18 then rage-quits 🫠 Client: We still closing Friday? Me: Sure - if Friday is post-ALTA, revised rent roll, and two cosmic extensions

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Broker Math vs Appraiser Math: Whose DSCR Is It Anyway?

Broker: “Stabilized, 7-cap, turnkey.” Lender: “Cool—drop 92 docs proving tenants aren’t imaginary.” Appraiser: “Using comps: a 2011 warehouse, a cornfield, and vibes—value haircut.” Excel: DSCR = 1.29

 
 
 

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