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The CRE Humor Jokes

When the Appraisal Hits 5 Minutes Before Rate Lock

Broker: We're clear to close Lender: Cool, need updated rent roll, T-12, estoppels, and your firstborn Appraiser: Came in 8% light but comps 'feel' right 😐 Client: Still 6.25% IO, right? Also we gifted 3 months free rent yesterday šŸ™ƒ

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DSCR Dreams vs Appraisal Screams (CRE Lender Boss Fight)

Broker: We underwrote 6.25% cap, 65% LTV, clean Phase I—let’s close Friday Lender: cool—after market-rent haircut, 12-month TI/LC reserve, and 1.35 DSCR ā€˜post-armageddon’, proceeds are 51% Appraiser:

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Appraiser Brought a 2021 Comp to a 2026 Knife Fight

Broker: T12 scrubbed, 6-cap, Phase I squeaky. Let’s close. Lender: DSCR 1.249 so… escrows, rate cap, and a blood sample. Appraiser: Used a 'nearby' comp 19 miles away behind a cornfield—value: vibes.

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