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The CRE Humor Jokes

When the Appraisal Comped My Class A to a Barn (Again)

Broker: It’s a 6 cap, T-12 clean, DSCR 1.35 Lender: Please upload 47 more items to the portal, including your 3rd‑grade GPA 🧮 Appraiser: Market says 8.75 cap, used a 2009 corn silo as a comp Client: Perfect—so we’re still closing by Friday at par, right? 😵‍💫

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Broker: T12 scrubbed, 6-cap, Phase I squeaky. Let’s close. Lender: DSCR 1.249 so… escrows, rate cap, and a blood sample. Appraiser: Used a 'nearby' comp 19 miles away behind a cornfield—value: vibes.

 
 
 

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