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The CRE Humor Jokes

When the Appraisal Comes In Light and the Lender Goes Dark

Broker: 5.25% cap, value-add, underwritten like a Marvel origin story Lender: Nice—DSCR 1.30 on T-12 or my credit box becomes a credit shoebox Appraiser: Found a 'comp' from 2009 three exits away—adjusted -$2.8M 😂 Me: Rebuilding the rent roll at 1:59am so the term sheet doesn’t evaporate 😵‍💫

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Appraiser Brought a 2021 Comp to a 2026 Knife Fight

Broker: T12 scrubbed, 6-cap, Phase I squeaky. Let’s close. Lender: DSCR 1.249 so… escrows, rate cap, and a blood sample. Appraiser: Used a 'nearby' comp 19 miles away behind a cornfield—value: vibes.

 
 
 

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