When Phase I says 'former dry cleaner' and your IRR says 'bye'

Broker: Pro forma is bulletproof Lender: Cool, just need rent roll, estoppels, SNDAs, roof report, and maybe your W-2 Phase I ESA: plot twist—site used to be a dry cleaner under the parking lot 🧪 Me: Rebuilding the model for the 7th time while seller texts 'go hard today?' ☠️