When Excel Says the Deal Works (But the Lender Can Read)

Broker: It's 'light value-add', 3-month stabilize, easy refi. Lender: Need 1.25 DSCR, 12 months P&I reserves, and your childhood diary. Me in Excel: Goal Seek until IRR does CrossFit; VLOOKUP to a rent roll that moved. Appraisal: Cap rate says no. Model: circular reference. Deal: LOI—Lots Of Imaginary. 🤡📉