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The CRE Humor Jokes

My Model Said It Pencils—Then Taxes Returned From Vacation

Broker: It pencils at 7% unlevered My Excel: circular reference; DSCR 1.31 -> 0.97 after real taxes, insurance, and TI/LC 😂 Lender: Send T-12, rent roll, estoppels, tie-out on CAM, and proof Other Income isn’t the vending machine Client: Can we close Friday? Me: Sure—after I find why vacancy is negative and OpEx says misc $0 😵‍💫

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Underwriting vs Reality: Excel Crimes Unit (ECU)

Broker: Pro forma hits 1.35x DSCR easy Lender: Please attach T-12, rent roll, and the model Me opening "Underwriting_FINAL_FINAL_v12.xlsm": 37 hidden sheets, hardcoded NOI, circular refs named 'Magic'

 
 
 

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