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The CRE Humor Jokes

Underwriting vs Appraisal: Final Boss Property Tax

ricklahkar
May 13
1 min read

Broker: Pro forma says 6.75% cap, tenants 'sticky' Lender: Send T-12, T-3, estoppels, guarantor DNA, and your childhood GPA 🧮 Appraiser: Closest comp is a drive-thru 38 miles away, adjusted -0.01% because 'vibes' Me at 1:59 PM: 47-tab model pencils perfectly—until property taxes spawn like a final boss 🤡

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Appraisal Says Vibes, Lender Says No, My Model Says Please

Broker: PSA at $12M Appraiser: Comps say $9.4M and vibes Lender: 55% LTV, DSCR 1.35 on a pro forma we won’t count 🙂 Me: Rebuilding the model at 1:13 AM, begging tenants for estoppels 🧮

The CRE Humor Jokes

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