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The CRE Humor Jokes

The T-12 Olympics: Lender Checklists vs Friday Closings

Broker: Light value-add, day-one cash flow Lender: Need T-12, T-3, rent-roll scrub, estoppels/SNDAs, ALTA, Phase I, and seller’s COIs Client: Can we close by Friday if we 'manifest'? Excel: recalculating... debt yield 10.0% -> 7.1%; cap rate yeets itself off the pro forma 🧮😵‍💫

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Underwrote 6.25% Cap, Appraised at Lol

Broker: Underwrote 95% occupancy, totally conservative, pinky swear. Appraiser: Subject borders a haunted parking lot; -120 bps for vibes. Lender: Need T-12, T-36, T-everything, estoppel bingo, and a

 
 
 

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