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The CRE Humor Jokes

Broker: CTC. Lender: One more doc. Appraiser: Hold my cap rate.

Broker: We’re 30 days from CTC Lender: Need estoppels, SNDA, fresh ALTA, and Phase I found a vintage dry cleaner 🧯 Client: If we switch to a DST and tack on a 1031, can we still close Friday? Me in Excel: DSCR 1.25; Lender: I’m getting 1.24; rate lock: not today 😵‍💫 Appraiser: Value -7% for market headwinds; Me: renaming Final_v19_REALFINAL.xlsx again

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Underwrote 6.25% Cap, Appraised at Lol

Broker: Underwrote 95% occupancy, totally conservative, pinky swear. Appraiser: Subject borders a haunted parking lot; -120 bps for vibes. Lender: Need T-12, T-36, T-everything, estoppel bingo, and a

 
 
 

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