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The CRE Humor Jokes

Rent Roll Says 95%, Roof Says Bring a Bucket

Broker: Pro forma's mint, 95% occupied Property Manager: Occupied by who? Three shell suites and one raccoon šŸ¤ Lender: Need estoppels, SNDA, Phase I, and a time machine by Friday Me opening CAM reconciliation: Excel crashed, so did my soul šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«

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CAM Reconciliation Speedrun Any% (Crying in Excel)

Broker: We’re 95% leased Property Manager: Cool, who covers the 140% jump in trash + HVAC after-hours? Lender: Need a 24-month trailing on janitorial ā€˜strategy’ by EOD Me at 2:03am rebuilding CAM in E

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