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The CRE Humor Jokes

Quick Close vs Ancient Comps: The CRE Hunger Games

Broker: It’s a simple refi, 65% LTV, stabilized, easy close Lender: Need rent roll, T-12, T-3, T-1, borrower’s blood type, and proof the tenant breathes 😅 Appraiser: Using a 2016 cornfield comp 40 miles away—value feels ‘prudent’ Me: Rebuilding the model for the 7th time while client demands an 8-cap in a 4-cap market 🤡

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Appraiser Brought a 2021 Comp to a 2026 Knife Fight

Broker: T12 scrubbed, 6-cap, Phase I squeaky. Let’s close. Lender: DSCR 1.249 so… escrows, rate cap, and a blood sample. Appraiser: Used a 'nearby' comp 19 miles away behind a cornfield—value: vibes.

 
 
 

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