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The CRE Humor Jokes

Property Manager Starter Pack: 2AM Leak, Flat CAM, Immortal Roof

Tenant: minor leak, handle tomorrow Me at 2:07 AM: kayaking past ceiling tiles 🧯 Owner: keep CAM flat and fix the entire roof Underwriting: assumes roof is eternal; reality: negative cap rate on my sleep šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«

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