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The CRE Humor Jokes

Proforma: 6 Cap. Appraisal: New Phone, Who Dis?

Broker: It's a clean 6 cap, debt quotes in hand Lender: Great - send T12, updated rent roll, SNDAs, estoppels, ALTA, and proof the anchor isn't your cousin Appraiser: Comps at 7.4 cap; minus $250k for 'vibes' and a roof that looks at me funny Seller: Oh, parking's an easement to Mars and the roof is condo'd, price still firm Me at 2:47am: Final_FINAL_v38.xlsx, DSCR 1.24, coffee IV drip ☕🔥

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Underwrote 6.25% Cap, Appraised at Lol

Broker: Underwrote 95% occupancy, totally conservative, pinky swear. Appraiser: Subject borders a haunted parking lot; -120 bps for vibes. Lender: Need T-12, T-36, T-everything, estoppel bingo, and a

 
 
 

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