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The CRE Humor Jokes

Pro Forma vs Reality: Lender Brings a Calculator, Appraiser Brings a Shovel

Broker: DSCR pencils at 1.25 on stabilized 🧮 Lender: cool, send rent roll, T-12, SNDA, estoppels, Phase I, and your soul Appraiser: using 2019 cornfield comps; adjusting -37% for market vibes Me: cap rate went to lunch with SOFR + 350 and never came back šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«

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Term Sheet Says Yes, Appraisal Says LOL

Broker: LOI signed, lender nodding, I preorder the 'Closed' banner Lender: send updated T-12, live rent roll, and proof the roof isn’t a rumor Appraiser: found comps from a C-minus two zip codes away—

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