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The CRE Humor Jokes

Phase I Says Dry Cleaner, My IRR Says Bye, Cleaner

Sep 26
1 min read

Buyer: Quick close, right? Phase I ESA: Former dry cleaner + possible USTs + plume Lender: Cool, add $600k remediation, vapor barrier, and a 45-day 'quick' extension Me at 2:13am in Excel: underwriting tears as 'other income' 🫠💸

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