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The CRE Humor Jokes

Due Diligence Speedrun: 30 Days, 300 Red Flags

5 hours ago
1 min read

Broker: DD is clean Phase I ESA: Your lot was a 1950s gas station AND a dry cleaner Seller: 'Add it to the OM as mixed-use' Me to lender at 1:59 AM: need extension, my cap rate is now pH-dependent šŸ§ŖšŸ˜µā€šŸ’«

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Phase I: Former Gas Station. Lender: Former Loan.

Broker: Easy value-add, trust me Phase I ESA: Former gas station, historic dry cleaner, surprise UST vibes Lender: Awesome, retrading, need vapor intrusion, ALTA update, estoppels, and your weekend šŸ˜‚

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