My Excel Just Committed Felony Underwriting
Broker: Numbers are clean, cap rate ‘market’ Lender: Please remove the 19 hidden sheets and the Magic NOI tab Client: Can we round DSCR to 1.25 because ‘future leasing momentum’? Me at 1:47 AM: VLOOKUP fighting rent roll gremlins, Other Income = Hope 😵💫 Excel crashes; file resurrects with a better IRR—pretty sure that’s securities fraud 🔥
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