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The CRE Humor Jokes

LOI Signed, Sanity Resigned: Phase I Said “Plot Twist”

Client: 30-day close, right? Lender: Shoot over T-12, current RR, estoppels/SNDAs, ALTA, roof letter, and a time machine Phase I: Former dry cleaner + suspect UST—enjoy the vapor party 🫠 Me at 2:17am: Re-trading cap rate and pretending it was the business plan 🎯

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Due Diligence Jenga: One More Estoppel And We're Out

Broker: LOI signed, PSA clean, we're cruising Lender: Need fresh estoppels, SNDA, ALTA, Phase I that says 'no vibes,' and a 1.35 DSCR in a 1.10 world 😵‍💫 Buyer: Underwrote at 6.25% cap; Seller heard

 
 
 

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