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The CRE Humor Jokes

LOI Signed, Sanity Denied

Sep 1
1 min read

Broker: It’s a clean deal, 6 cap, 30-day close Lender: Send T-12, rent roll, estoppels… and your childhood report cards Client: Can we ‘optimize’ DSCR to 1.35 by calling it “other income”? Me (in Excel): If the cell is green, the pro forma is clean. Send help 🧮😵

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