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The CRE Humor Jokes

Leasing Like It’s a Contact Sport

Broker: “It’s a simple lease review.” Me: opens underwriting spreadsheet 😇 Lender: “Quick question—why is the CAM rent different?” Client: “We thought it was included.” Me: *stares at the T12 like it owes me money* 😵

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CAM Reconciliation Speedrun Any% (Crying in Excel)

Broker: We’re 95% leased Property Manager: Cool, who covers the 140% jump in trash + HVAC after-hours? Lender: Need a 24-month trailing on janitorial ‘strategy’ by EOD Me at 2:03am rebuilding CAM in E

 
 
 

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