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The CRE Humor Jokes

Expectation: Stabilized. Reality: Phase I Found a Secret Dry-Cleaner Plume

Oct 9

1 min read

Broker: It’s turnkey, zero hair Lender: Great, send Phase I, reliance, ALTA 3 and 3.1, SNDAs, 12 estoppels Rent roll: Suite B - Yoga + Ammo pays base via Venmo; CAM listed as TBD 🙵‍♋ Phase I: Historic dry cleaner next door says hi; vapor under the breakroom Client: Still Friday close? Me: opening Excel version_47_FINALfinal.xlsx 🧮

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Broker: DD is clean Phase I ESA: Your lot was a 1950s gas station AND a dry cleaner Seller: 'Add it to the OM as mixed-use' Me to lender at 1:59 AM: need extension, my cap rate is now pH-dependent 🧪�

DD Surprise Box: 'Clean' Listing, Dirty Secrets

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Phase I: Former Gas Station. Lender: Former Loan.

Broker: Easy value-add, trust me Phase I ESA: Former gas station, historic dry cleaner, surprise UST vibes Lender: Awesome, retrading, need vapor intrusion, ALTA update, estoppels, and your weekend 😂

The CRE Humor Jokes

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