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The CRE Humor Jokes

Expectation: Friday Close, Reality: Phase II at 4:59PM

Expectation: Close Friday Reality: Title uncovers a 1978 horse-trail easement slicing my loading dock Lender: 'Need updated estoppels, ALTA, fresh Phase I, and your childhood report card' Me: Rebuilding the T-12/T-3 because taxes reset at sale and CAMs ghosted šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ¤”

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Due Diligence Speed-Run Any% (Failed at Phase I)

Expectation: coffee + site walk Reality: 47-page environmental hit list, buried UST, and a raccoon named ā€˜Deferred Maint.’ 🤔 Lender: ā€œQuick turn—just need Phase I/II, new ALTA, estoppels, SNDAs, roof

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