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The CRE Humor Jokes

Expectation: 70% LTV | Reality: Appraised at 'Nice Try'

Broker: It’s a slam dunk at 70% LTV Lender: Send T-12, T-3, estoppels, and a blood type; DSCR still 1.19x Appraiser: Using 2019 comps because 'market paused' Me: Add $0.25 CAM to proforma -> DSCR 1.26x; lender: sponsor strength unlocked 😅📊

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Appraiser Brought a 2021 Comp to a 2026 Knife Fight

Broker: T12 scrubbed, 6-cap, Phase I squeaky. Let’s close. Lender: DSCR 1.249 so… escrows, rate cap, and a blood sample. Appraiser: Used a 'nearby' comp 19 miles away behind a cornfield—value: vibes.

 
 
 

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