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The CRE Humor Jokes

Expectation: 70% LTV | Reality: Appraised at 'Nice Try'

Broker: It’s a slam dunk at 70% LTV Lender: Send T-12, T-3, estoppels, and a blood type; DSCR still 1.19x Appraiser: Using 2019 comps because 'market paused' Me: Add $0.25 CAM to proforma -> DSCR 1.26x; lender: sponsor strength unlocked 😅📊

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Broker: LOI signed, lender nodding, I preorder the 'Closed' banner Lender: send updated T-12, live rent roll, and proof the roof isn’t a rumor Appraiser: found comps from a C-minus two zip codes away—

 
 
 

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