ChatGPT Image Mar 21, 2026, 05_41_11 PM.png

The CRE Humor Jokes

Expectation: 6% Cap; Reality: Appraiser Brought a Ruler

ricklahkar
May 11
1 min read

Broker: Clean 6% cap, easy win Lender: Cool - send T-12, T-3, YTD, rent roll, estoppels, and your soul Appraiser: My comps are 42 miles away; value says "lol, no" 🫠 Me to client: IRR now stands for I'm Really Retiring 🤝

Recent Posts

See All

Pro Forma: 12M. Appraisal: 8.4M. My Soul: Negative Carry.

Broker: Pro forma value 12M, comps are chef's kiss Appraiser: Found a 2011 comp next to a RadioShack, calling it 8.4M Lender: DSCR 1.25 at SOFR+ mystery points; also escrow Jupiter and buy a rate cap

Term Sheet Says Yes, Appraisal Says LOL

Broker: LOI signed, lender nodding, I preorder the 'Closed' banner Lender: send updated T-12, live rent roll, and proof the roof isn’t a rumor Appraiser: found comps from a C-minus two zip codes away—

Appraisal Says Vibes, Lender Says No, My Model Says Please

Broker: PSA at $12M Appraiser: Comps say $9.4M and vibes Lender: 55% LTV, DSCR 1.35 on a pro forma we won’t count 🙂 Me: Rebuilding the model at 1:13 AM, begging tenants for estoppels 🧮

The CRE Humor Jokes

Comments