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The CRE Humor Jokes

Excel Said My DSCR Is A Vibe: Underwriting Chaos Edition

Aug 12
1 min read

Broker: Proforma sings at 6 cap Lender: Cool, send T-12, T-3, T-1, and proof of gravity Excel: I changed one hardcode and your DSCR is now 1.08x lol Me: Capex creep + tax reassessment = value-add? More like value-adjacent 🧮🤡

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