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The CRE Humor Jokes

Due Diligence Speedrun: 30 Days, 400 Red Flags

Broker: DD is chill Phase I: vintage dry cleaner plume says hi; ALTA: your parking encroaches onto neighbor's parcel Lender: need estoppels + SNDA from tenant that rebranded twice and dissolved in 2014 Me at 1:47am: re-underwriting taxes post-reassessment while googling how to vacate an easement šŸ˜‚

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Due Diligence Speed-Run Any% (Failed at Phase I)

Expectation: coffee + site walk Reality: 47-page environmental hit list, buried UST, and a raccoon named ā€˜Deferred Maint.’ 🤔 Lender: ā€œQuick turn—just need Phase I/II, new ALTA, estoppels, SNDAs, roof

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