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The CRE Humor Jokes

Due Diligence Nightmares: ALTA Says Your Drive-Thru Is In The Neighbor's Kitchen

Broker: Clean Phase I, easy close Lender: Perfect, just need 47 'final' items + ALTA proving the neighbor's dumpster is on your parcel Seller: 'new roof 2005' = new leaks 2006; CAMs reconciled by vibes Me reading estoppels and SNDAs like tarot: co-tenancy clause triggered the moment I opened Excel šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«

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When the ALTA hits and your pro forma taps out

Broker: Off-market, 'light lift' 🧮 My model: 47 tabs, 19 IRR cases, cell G37 chained to a prayer Lender: Need refreshed Phase I, ALTA v3, estoppels, SNDAs, and your Q4 soul Seller: BTW NOI includes m

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