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The CRE Humor Jokes

DSCR Says Yes, Appraiser Says LOL

Broker: DSCR pencils at 1.26, easy close Lender: after 'light' stress, DSCR 1.24 and debt yield 9.49% Appraiser: pulled a 2010 REO comp and a cap rate from a cave painting Client: so we still getting that 3% 10-year, right? Me: re-running 19-tab model with 6 circulars and a prayer šŸ§®šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«šŸ”„

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DSCR Dreams vs Appraisal Screams (CRE Lender Boss Fight)

Broker: We underwrote 6.25% cap, 65% LTV, clean Phase I—let’s close Friday Lender: cool—after market-rent haircut, 12-month TI/LC reserve, and 1.35 DSCR ā€˜post-armageddon’, proceeds are 51% Appraiser:

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Appraiser Brought a 2021 Comp to a 2026 Knife Fight

Broker: T12 scrubbed, 6-cap, Phase I squeaky. Let’s close. Lender: DSCR 1.249 so… escrows, rate cap, and a blood sample. Appraiser: Used a 'nearby' comp 19 miles away behind a cornfield—value: vibes.

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