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The CRE Humor Jokes

DSCR Said Yes, Appraiser Said Bowling Alley

In commercial real estate: Broker: DSCR 1.35, 65% LTV, sponsor liquid—close Friday Lender: drop 25 bps, Phase I, fresh estoppels, and the GP’s horoscope Appraiser: pulled a comp—1978 bowling alley two counties over; cap rate by vibes Client: make it nonrecourse, free TI, and lifetime parking for their food truck Me: reopening Excel vFinal_FINAL(7).xlsx, praying bridge debt stops floating 😵‍💫🧮

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Underwrote 6.25% Cap, Appraised at Lol

Broker: Underwrote 95% occupancy, totally conservative, pinky swear. Appraiser: Subject borders a haunted parking lot; -120 bps for vibes. Lender: Need T-12, T-36, T-everything, estoppel bingo, and a

 
 
 

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