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The CRE Humor Jokes

DSCR Hunger Games: Broker vs Lender vs Appraiser

Broker: DSCR’s 1.30, we’re gold Lender: After 'minor' credit box update, need 1.40 and a PG Appraiser: Your 'value-add' comps were from 2019, here’s a 12% cap in a cornfield 🌽 Me at 2:13 AM in Excel: if I round NOI to 17 decimals, will lease-up start faster? 😵‍💫

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Appraiser Brought a 2021 Comp to a 2026 Knife Fight

Broker: T12 scrubbed, 6-cap, Phase I squeaky. Let’s close. Lender: DSCR 1.249 so… escrows, rate cap, and a blood sample. Appraiser: Used a 'nearby' comp 19 miles away behind a cornfield—value: vibes.

 
 
 

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