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The CRE Humor Jokes

DD Speedrun: From LOI to Therapy in 30 Days

Broker: DD is light, seller already did Phase I Lender: cool, just need Phase I, Phase II, PCA, ALTA, estoppels, SNDAs, flood cert, and your soul Survey: parking lot is a creek; monument sign is on city land; half the roof is 'vintage' 1979 šŸ˜‚ Me updating the model for the 19th time while the raccoon tenant negotiates TI and 6 months free šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«

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Due Diligence Jenga: One More Estoppel And We're Out

Broker: LOI signed, PSA clean, we're cruising Lender: Need fresh estoppels, SNDA, ALTA, Phase I that says 'no vibes,' and a 1.35 DSCR in a 1.10 world šŸ˜µā€šŸ’« Buyer: Underwrote at 6.25% cap; Seller heard

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