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The CRE Humor Jokes

Closing Friday? Due Diligence: Hold My Easement

Broker: We’re clear to close Lender: need updated Phase I, 95% estoppels, SNDAs, roof warranty, and proof parking exists ALTA survey: your prime stall is an 1897 wagon easement and the dumpster’s in a floodplain 🤡 Me at 2am fixing the model: NOI = Nope, Other Issue 😂

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Due Diligence Speed-Run Any% (Failed at Phase I)

Expectation: coffee + site walk Reality: 47-page environmental hit list, buried UST, and a raccoon named ‘Deferred Maint.’ 🤡 Lender: “Quick turn—just need Phase I/II, new ALTA, estoppels, SNDAs, roof

 
 
 

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