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The CRE Humor Jokes

Clear To Close Friday (Said Every Broker Before the SNDA Avalanche)

Broker: We’re clear to close Friday Lender: Perfect—just need updated T-12, rent roll, fresh estoppels, SNDAs, and a Phase I not from 2007 Client: Lock last week’s SOFR, keep a 6% cap, and toss in $60 TI + 6 months free, cool? Me: Argus says yes, DSCR says no, Excel says #REF!—my eyelid says tap out 😂

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Underwrote 6.25% Cap, Appraised at Lol

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