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The CRE Humor Jokes

Clean Site Vibes Until Phase I Brings a Shovel

Broker: site is clean Phase I: found unknown UST, historic perc, and a raccoon with better rent rolls Lender: need vapor intrusion model, ESA addendum, no-cap indemnity, and a blood sample 🧯 Me: booking $300k remediation as minor TI and still chasing a 6 cap šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«

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When the ALTA hits and your pro forma taps out

Broker: Off-market, 'light lift' 🧮 My model: 47 tabs, 19 IRR cases, cell G37 chained to a prayer Lender: Need refreshed Phase I, ALTA v3, estoppels, SNDAs, and your Q4 soul Seller: BTW NOI includes m

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