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Clean Site Vibes Until Phase I Brings a Shovel

Broker: site is clean Phase I: found unknown UST, historic perc, and a raccoon with better rent rolls Lender: need vapor intrusion model, ESA addendum, no-cap indemnity, and a blood sample šŸ§Æ Me: booking $300k remediation as minor TI and still chasing a 6 cap šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«

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Due Diligence: Where Rent Rolls Gaslight You

Expectation: 30-day DD, clean Phase I, Friday close Reality: 1978 gas station cameo + mysterious UST "probably" removed Lender: need estoppels from all 62 tenants and an SNDA notarized by their dog Me

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Clean DD Until the ALTA and Phase I Crashed the Party

Broker: 'Clean DD, trust me' Phase I: 'Historic USTs say hi' ALTA: neighbor's monument sign is on our parcel Lender: re-trade for 'market uncertainty'ā€”me rebuilding the model at 1:59 AM šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«

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