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The CRE Humor Jokes

Cap Rate vs Reality: Lenders & Appraisers Edition

ricklahkar
Jun 4
1 min read

Broker: 6.0 cap on T-12, smooth as butter Lender: T-3, 10% vacancy, DSCR 1.30, rate cap escrow, cool? Appraiser: Market cap 7.75, roof 'vintage', minus $400k reserves 😐 Me: Price now pencils at 'exposure only' — but hey, at least the OM had drone shots 😂

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Pro Forma: 12M. Appraisal: 8.4M. My Soul: Negative Carry.

Broker: Pro forma value 12M, comps are chef's kiss Appraiser: Found a 2011 comp next to a RadioShack, calling it 8.4M Lender: DSCR 1.25 at SOFR+ mystery points; also escrow Jupiter and buy a rate cap

Term Sheet Says Yes, Appraisal Says LOL

Broker: LOI signed, lender nodding, I preorder the 'Closed' banner Lender: send updated T-12, live rent roll, and proof the roof isn’t a rumor Appraiser: found comps from a C-minus two zip codes away—

Appraisal Says Vibes, Lender Says No, My Model Says Please

Broker: PSA at $12M Appraiser: Comps say $9.4M and vibes Lender: 55% LTV, DSCR 1.35 on a pro forma we won’t count 🙂 Me: Rebuilding the model at 1:13 AM, begging tenants for estoppels 🧮

The CRE Humor Jokes

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