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The CRE Humor Jokes

Cap Rate Dreams, DSCR Screams, Appraiser Memes

Client: Need a 6-cap core, 80% LTV, zero vacancy, ‘value-add upside’ 🤡 Lender: DSCR says 1.09—come back with more equity and a personality Me opening the T-12 + rent roll: why is ‘Owner’s Cousin Pop-Up’ paying $0 and counted as NOI Appraiser: Comped you to a cornfield; Phase I found a raccoon; LOI = Lots Of Issues 😵

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Lender IC vs My Excel: A Love Story in DSCR

Broker: We're at the 1-yard line Lender IC: Need fresh estoppels, a new ALTA, and proof the roof isn't a rumor Appraisal: Used a 2014 vape shop as a medical office comp Me updating the model: DSCR 1.3

 
 
 

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