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The CRE Humor Jokes

Expectation: 6 Cap. Reality: Lender Says 4.2 and Title Found a Roof Lease

Broker: It’s a clean 6 cap, turnkey, zero hair Lender: After our ‘quick’ re-underwrite it’s a 4.2 with seasonal mange 📉 Title: Surprise 1998 billboard lease on the roof, rent paid to Seller’s cousin Me in Excel_FINAL_v39: Still pencils if interest is imaginary only 🫠 Client: Can we close Friday? Me: Absolutely… in dog years

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Clear To Close* Terms And Conditions Apply

Broker: we’re clear to close Lender: need updated T-12, fresh rent roll, new estoppels + SNDA, and a 2021 ALTA by 4pm Client: but we already told Instagram we bought it Me: re-underwriting for the 9th

 
 
 

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