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The CRE Humor Jokes

Broker vs Lender vs Landlord: NNN Thunderdome

Broker: It’s a clean 5-yr NNN, easy close Lender: Need updated rent roll, estoppels, SNDA, Phase I, and proof the roof isn’t from 1987 Landlord: Add “minor tweak” = 3% annuals, 2 mo. DD, and a personal guarantee from your dog Me underwriting at 2:14am: market cap 5.25, sale comp 6.5, Excel: #DIV/0! 😵‍💫

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Broker: It’s a vanilla NNN, clean Phase I, we coast to close Lender: Need 12 months trailing, 3 estoppels, roof warranty from 1997, and the tenant’s favorite cereal Client: Can we close Friday if we s

 
 
 
When DSCR Won’t Commit But My Coffee Will

Client: Can we close Friday? Lender: Send updated T-12, estoppels, SNDA, Phase I, and proof the roof isn’t from 1978 Me opening Excel: why does CAM math have 19 tabs and a hidden sorcery sheet ☠️ DSCR

 
 
 

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